Soothing Rain

“Faith is what makes life bearable, with all its tragedies and ambiguities, and sudden, startling joys.” 

Walking on Water by Madeleine L’Engle

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Untangling from softness, I slip quietly out of bed, tiptoe over to the windows, raising them high. Fresh air, heavy and damp, sweeps over me, warming my aching bones. Soothes me, beckoning me back to sleep.

We’ve been blessed with overcast sky and stormy evenings. Rainwater nourishes the ground, the flowers, my dry and crusty soul. Drizzle falls again today. Lamps burn low. After searing heat weighing us down in these parts, thunderstorms and soft rain lends a  lightness I have needed.

These past days have been filled with contradiction. Joy bucks against pain and the want to give in to despair. Late evening, I scrape to find the gifts.

And yet, they still come.

~Giggles surround as tinkling wind chimes when precious loves visit “Nanna Camp.”

~A new electrolyte drink recommended for P.O.T.S patients

~Rain refreshing my face while out with the dog

~Words of encouragement with a cup of tea arrive by mail 

~Heart string in the sand

~First day of middle school pictures, smiles from a growing woman~child 

~A funny story from my Soul Sister, doubling me over with belly laughter

Scraping in the dark, these are the gifts that meet me in light.

I dare not give in to the pain that darkens my life, settles deep in my bones. I fight till I’m weary and worn. I tumble into arms of Grace. Linger there, listen to the rain.

But God.

But God, my two favorite words in the Bible. Without these words, chronic illness, daily pain, fighting through it, fighting for it, becomes impossible. Hopeless even.

But God makes unbearable tremble with sudden, startling  joys.

“For I experience your wrap~around presence every moment. My heart and soul explode with joy~full of glory! Even my body will rest confident and secure.

Psalms 16: 8~9 The Passion Translation

Gifts of Grace

Tammy Mashburn 

Coming Soon Five Minute Friday: A Collection of Stories Written in Five Minutes Flat! Also, a new blog design reveal! More joys, More gifts in the hard! I am so excited for both of these gifts! 

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16 thoughts on “Soothing Rain

  1. “But God makes unbearable tremble with sudden, startling joys.” Yes! Thank you for a beautiful, encouraging post, Tammy. You remind us that God makes all the difference.

  2. Love those 2 word so much. all the thing we can think of that assault our lives go before them, and then after… He changes all. Amen and amen!

  3. Yes, this is so true that we are lost in our struggles, But for God! This thought touched my heart so deeply also: “But God makes unbearable tremble with sudden, startling joys.” Thank you for honest and encouraging words! –Blessings!

  4. Another great one.Love your Blogs. Lift my spirits in a different way. Thanks for this one.

    Have good day and Love all.

    Mom

  5. The beauty of your words bring me into the moment of your morning. As I walk with you in your words, I feel the pain and the hope–both entangled in the real world you know intimately.
    Your words of “But God” reminds me of the Psalms. They are rich with the outcry and the “but God” words of faith. In those words, hope and the courage to continue on are found.
    I am encouraged and glad I visited you today.

  6. Your steadfast commitment to get up each day and face life in the midst of pain and loss never fails to humble me. We recently returned from helping to care for our 13 year old granddaughter who had major spinal surgery a month ago. She was told (We were told.) that the pain would be incredible and meds would not totally cover it. Seeing it, watching it was something different. She had gone into the surgery full of faith, but that faith has been tested. One night she loudly cried out to the Lord to send an angel to her to help her with the pain because it was so unbearable. No angel came that we saw that night in the hospital, but a few hours later a rainbow appeared right outside her window after a storm. One another day when the pain was searing through her body she loudly shouted and cried out to God to take her home to heaven if He would not relieve the pain. She then went on to remind God of His promises and faithfulness from Genesis to Revelation and included how much faith she had going into this surgery. Her voice could be heard all over the floor of Children’s National Hospital. God didn’t take her home and all the pain did not leave, but she pressed on. She is home and much improved now, but with many limitations and she struggles to fight the anxiety she feels that the pain will return if she stops taking the Motrin and Extra-Strength Tylenol she is on at present. She has humbled us as well.

    Loving you as you share so directly the truth of a life lived with pain, weakness, and losses.

  7. God bless this Sweet Beautiful Girl! I will keep you all in my prayers! I completely understand her anxiety, in the beginning mine was at an all time high.
    Often at night, I sit with the pain and whispering for God to meet me in this place.
    Please keep me updated on her progress!
    Blessings and prayers to you all!
    {{Hugs}}
    XO
    Tammy

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